Friday 13 November 2020

Common Amazonian Species




AMAZON SPECIES.

Amazon Species the travelling Angler may encounter.



When I first became interested in fishing in the Amazon and its many tributaries, I got frustrated on the lack of information available to anglers on the resident fish.
There were lots of aquarist guides, and some scientific books papers and journals but little else in one spot to help the Angler both identify and catch these fish..
With this in mind I have put together a brief list of the main fish the Amazon Angler could expect to catch, their habits and how to go about catching them.
This is not meant to be a scientific article nor is it a professional guide and certainly not an all encompassing field guide, just simply a good grounding on a few of the most come across fish.

Peacock Bass
The Peacock Bass, after the Arapaima is perhaps the most sought-after fish to inhabit the Amazon basin, and one of the most oft encountered.
Called Tucanare (two can ha ray) in most of the latin world, 
Whole trips are devoted just to the pursuit of this fish.
Truth be known.. Its not just one fish, or even a true bass, but one of over a dozen separate species living in various types of rainforest environment.
The species range from the huge cichla temensis, commonly known as the three bar Peacock or giant Peacock, to the smaller butterfly bass, cichla occellaris
These are In fact cichlids, pronounced sick lids, and the smaller species are popular in aquariums, and soon outgrow tanks and often terrorize fish only a few inches smaller than themselves and as such hapless owners often release them into the wild, where they terrorize the wild fish. 
There are self sustaining populations of PBs all over the tropical world and are firmly established in florida.
Being ultra aggressive fish these are not hard to catch, they love to hang around structure, particularly rocks, under river banks and around snags and will often bow wave towards the lure at a screaming pace as the lure drops. To make the situation more dramatic there is often two or three of them fighting each other to nail the bait.
I find the best way to fish for these is with poppers and top water baits, spooks, pencils,dog walkers etc in 8 to 12 cm, bright flouro colours like fire tiger etc but in truth they will take any colour, often in an explosion of spray, fins and sound.. They are without doubt a very exciting fish and a worthy catch.
You can also try small minnows and spoons to great effect, they will also nail a fly.. The choice is yours.
A point worth mentioning here is massive top water prop baits like the rip roller and others of this type are Only suitable for cichla temensis fishing. Many the time I’ve seen fist timers come to the river with 7 to ten inch prop baits only to find them useless for the indigenous peacocks.
Above a temensis that took a 6 inch prop bait

Be sure of the type of peacocks you will be fishing for, anything other than temensis take 7 to 13 mm lures. If your outfitter or trip provider doesn’t know.. Don’t go with them.
If it doesn’t take on the drop, it will hammer the lure after two to three cranks, if not will follow the. Bait and take closer to the boat. Have two casts in each spot, no action, move on, if they are there they will show themselves quickly.
Lures for peacocks, also catch Arowana 

Peacock Bass require reasonably stout tackle. A medium or medium light spinning or baitcasting outfit will do the job, 30lb braid and 50lb flourocarbon leader. Cichla temensis will require a heavy baitcasting outfit, 50lb braid and 80lb leader.
Lure split rings and hooks will need to be upgraded. On more than one occasion I’ve had the quality owners on yo zuri lures fully straightened out by bass on the take. Go at least 3 x on the trebles.
Also buy quality ones owner st66 or decoy y w77 are OK. For between 50p and a pound each, might sound dear when replacing 40 hooks but believe me is not an area to save money., 
Wolf fish
The wolf fish is another generic term for a fish of the genus Hoplias. They also have many local names:
Triaroa(try a row) triaira (try he rah), in Brazil,and Aimara, Hymara (hi Mar rah) In the surrounding countries.
The one most anglers are concerned with is the giant triaira or Great wolf fish. This is a prehistoric brute of a fish with strong Jaws, big teeth and a voracious appetite. Like the small Hoplias these will readily take a selection of lures poppers, spoons and jigs, however the most successful way of catching large ones is to use cut bait.
These fish max out at around 35 to 40 lb and a 20 lb fish is considered average, a 30lb fish achievable.
These fish are true opportunistic feeders and will have a go at most things, but spend a lot of time in sleepy slow moving backwaters and creeks in deep holes, also under tree roots by creek mouths.
They like to dig around in the black dead leaves substrate and devour the small armoured catfish living there and betray their presence by sending a fizz, of bubbles.
Place a bait near a patch of bubbles and simply wait.. Could be 1 min could be half an hour.. You may notice little plucks and taps on the line whilst waiting accompanied by bubbles in the localised area.. This is usually not small fish,if you were to strike at these plucks, chances are you would connect, however, a wolf fish will pick up a bait and sit on the bottom chewing away at it for ages before eventually deciding to move off.. If you are unsure what’s going on a good method is to gently handline until you can feel weight, this sometimes encourages the fish to move off and take line. A good solid strike is then needed to set the hook in the fishes bony mouth.
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They are dirty fighters and will run you through every snag Bush and submerged rock, expect to land one out of every two hooked and please be careful unhooking. Use a, boga, grip to hold the fish and strong long nose industrial pliers for unhooking.
These fish are incredibly Hardy.. I have seen them kept out of water hours, been beaten with a machete or wooden club and left in the boat for hours only to see them revive themselves and swim away.
The Pacu.
Pacu is a large family of vegetarian fish, sort of an offshoot branch of the piranha line to which they are closely related.
Again like many amazon fish there are several types and strains, with just one local generic name… Pacu.
Within this group you will find the fast growing, piripatinga, a large steel grey Pacu that will top 20lb.This fish is the one most often found outside the Amazon, usually stocked as a food fish.
The red Pacu,:smaller than the piripatinga but no less a fighter, in fast water I’d give these, pound for pound, the title of hardest pulling fish in the Amazon.
Silver dollar pacu:bright silver, small discs of fish, up to a pound. Fantastic fun on 4 Wright fly tackle or UL spinning gear, although best fished for under trees with vegetarian bait.
The tambaqui:( pronounced tam back hee) as large or larger than the piripatinga and often two tone black and gold or black and cream, a fine food fish which brings top dollar in restaurants in Manaus where it’s the number one table fish.
The Pacu main diet is nuts and seeds, which drop from overhanging trees and to facilitate this have large strong almost human looking teeth.
Please do not be tempted to put your fingers in a pacus mouth. They quite easily bite steel hooks apart that you would have trouble cutting with pliers.
Curious thing about Pacu is that although being vegetarian, if food is scarce will quickly turn hunter and prey on small fish.In Thailand they are, almost exclusively fished for with fish or meat baits, although like me, they won’t say no to a bit of bread.
A generally large slab sided fish with immense power a small mouth and rubbery lips makes this a great sportfish. You can sit under a tree with a Brazil nut as hook bait under a float, or try spinning for them with a number 5 mepps type spinner.
When not under trees Pacu love fast water and when hooked turn their dustbin lid like bodies downstream and off they go.. Retrieval of fish and lure often involving a swim.
Pacu are an exciting fish to catch.. A freshwater permit in more ways than one.. A light spinning outfit, 25 lb braid and 30lb flourocarbon leader is all you need.. Make sure your reel is of good quality and has a reliable drag,you must use pliers unhooking.
Pacu are a other fish that has exported worldwide. You can now find them living in Thailand, Australia Papua New Guinea and florida to name a few.
Payara
Western name the Vampire Fish. Pronounced (pie are ha), are a most sought after sport fish, often near the top of an Amazon anglers bucket list.
A frightening profile shows huge extendible Jaws filled with large pin sharp teeth endo g in 4 massive canines that are so large they need slots in the upper and lower jaw to slide into so the fish can close its mouth.
A top water to mid water fish, you can catch these on poppers and top water lures, shallow diving minnows, deep divers and bait.
A piece of fresh cut fish and a light weight free lined behind a boat and slowly sinking through the waterwill often bring Savage strikes, the fish then in general behaving like a salmon leaping out of the water several times.
A point to note, payara are very like the African tiger fish, in the fact that their mouth is comprised of bone and teeth and not much soft tissue.
To get a hook to hold her requires a combination of a stiff rod, stout line and a spattering of good luck.
In fairness if you land one out of five you are about right, they are absolute masters at throwing the hooks, often leaping straight away shaking its head gills flaring.
If you are lucky enough to land one please be aware payara, like our barbel, give everything in the fight and need swift unhooking and careful handling to ensure survival so please if you need a photo either fully revive the fish first, or get into the water with it.
Some of the indigenous people eat these, but in general are not known as a food fish.
Lures for payara are skitterpops, spooks, and xdogs on the surface, Crystal minnows, rapalas etc 2 to three feet down. Never had the need to use a wire trace for payara when lure fishing. a length of stiff flourocarbon being enough.
As stated earlier a bait slowly falling through the water column is an ideal way to fish for payara as they tend to sit at a certain depth.
If you are bait fishing a wire trace is essential.
The body is very slimy, so after catching one I suggest a swim.
Pirahna
Probably the most infamous, well known, and misunderstood fish.
Again as with pacu(a close relative) lots of different types in many sizes.
The ones you see in aquariums are often red bellied piranhas, a small up to six inches, shoal cfish common in Amazon waters.
The ones pictures below are the giant black pirahnas.
These grow to ten pounds maximum and are the largest species of pirahnas and are voracious feeders.
Whilst fishing for catfish its almost impossible at times to keep your bait with these boys about,the hook is often stripped bare by the time it gets to the bottom.
Mind you at between five and seven pounds each are not too shabby a catch.
Generally a shoal fish they will snap at your bait in a pack tearing chunks off it and often cut the line above the wire trace forcing you to re rig time after time, this is usually caused by the Pirahna trying to eat the lead.
Things can be helped by painting leads dark matt colours and using blacked out Swivels and hooks.
If you can’t be bothered painting, just buy a black waterproof felt tip pen and colour all hardware and lead with this.. Not perfect but it helps.
Do not attempt to unhook this fish if you have never caught one before: let you guide do it and watch how he will keep his hands as far away from the fishes mouth as possible.
If you have no one of experience with you the best way is to hold the fish by the boga grip, grip the hook with long nose pliers and twist out the hook.
NEVER attempt unhooking without pliers. Snip off close to the hook.
Try to avoid bringing them aboard as they flap about a bit gnashing their teeth and the enevitable happens.
Take plasters and superglue to treat minor and major cuts.
Not bad eating…. Although I wouldn’t suggest it as if you don’t eat them they won’t eat you!!!
As for swimming with them, I have swam, bathed, washed up and even poo pooed in waters teeming with piranhas and never been attacked… ever.. However I would not advise using tuna flavour deodorants or hanging a  necklace of fresh fish round your head..
Arapiama
An ancient and delicate species, the Arapaima is the most wanted on most Amazon anglers wish list.
Generally regarded as the biggest scaled freshwater fish in the world they can top over 200lbs easily.
Virtually extinct in Brazil due to over fishing and bad forest management, you may have to look to Brazils neighboring countries of Bolivia, Suriname and the. Guianas for more consistent sport.
Arapiama rarely live on the main river. They love to laze in backwater lagoons and ponds away from the main current.
They are very easy to catch… usually if you can find one, and get a bait near it you have a good chance of a take.
Bait in the form of any whole small fish freshly killed, tossed to the fish with just a hook and short wire leader.
Arapaima are easy to catch but difficult to locate. This is where local knowledge is vital as you may be ten feet from a lagoon holding Arapaima and not even know its there.
After finding a lagoon, Arapaima being air breathers surface regularly to breathe and so betray their presence.
NO sign of a fish in half an hour, try another spot.
Those of you who have fished in Thailand will know that a lot of the commercial Thai fishing parks contain the Arapaima, and I would have to say that these fish are often harder to catch than their wild amazon brothers as they have been subjected to a lot of fishing pressure.
Their location being easy peasy as just standing around for 15 mins will reveal one.
Other than that they are exactly the same, fished for in exactly the same way.
These fish are very delicate and will not tolerate poor handling.
If you drop one on the ground its dead.
Never remove an Arapaima from the water, if you want a photo, get in with the fish, a do not t lift it from the waters support. Believe it or not these fish were not designed to be taken out of the water!! Cradle the fish gently without lifting and take your photo.
In my honest opinion Arapaima are way over rated and, yes they are a big fish, and yes they are beautiful but I feel their position as the penultimate trophy catch is not warranted.
Tv has done a lot to glamourize this fish and even in some cases demonise it(I hope you are reading this Mr W***) neither of these have been good for the Arapaima.
The Amazon basin is home to hundreds of species of worthy fish which I feel are diminished by the Arapaima’s status.
They take little skill to catch, are want to inhale the bait, so they are often deep hooked and are very easily damaged if mishandled. Add to this their increasing rarity in the wild I am at a moral standoff. The last twice in the Amazon I refused to fish for them, catching one only as a chance encounter.. After all I am not a Saint.
Arowana
Often called the monkey fish due to its habit of drinking pg tips and playing with itself in front of tourists.. No I mean taking insects, small birds and mammals straight off the waterside vegetation… then drinking pg tips etc..
It’s quite dramatic to watch them leap 3 or 4 feet in the air to take prey from a Bush they have been lying under.
The best way to fish for them however is not to cast your lure into a tree and wait for one to jump up for it.
Many local carp anglers where I live adopt this approach, judging by the amount of boilies and leads hanging from lakeside trees.
I have tried this many times. And often results in a lost lure.
A very beautiful fish with large diamond shaped scales of gold and jade green, a huge mouth and two curious up pointing barbels on the lower maxillary,it grows to about ten pounds on weight and a metre in length.
 A spectacular top water feeder which responds well to poppers and walking baits as well as rubber frogs, mice, and is a fly fisherman’s dream.
They like to live near vegetation as could be expected, but, are very often found in or near rocks and as such a strike you may expect to come from a Peacock Bass may very well be an Arowana.
A close, relative of the Arapaima, and an ancient fish, they are popular with aquarist who often have huge tanks made and ponds built to accommodate them.
Travelling over to Asia, East of India will bring you into the domain of the Asian Arowana similar in many ways, to the Amazonian fish only having a deeper body and more pronounced tail.
Asian Arowana also come in many different colours :blue, green, silver and gold and are very handsome fish. They are most sought after by Asian anglers.
Known in Northern, Australia as the saratoga.
Very poor eating as being bony.
In the words of Mick crocodile Dundee “you can live on them, but they taste like shit”!
Bicuda


A long barracuda type fish, living in fast skinny water and loving junctions of rivers,the bicuda is a gem of a sport fish.
It takes top water baits with gusto often throwing itself out of the water in an attempt to nail the lure. It will strike hard at minnows and spinners and spoons.
Loves fast water, particularly where fast meets slack, or fast smoothes out. A cast onto the crease is always worth it.
Long and cylindrical in cross section these fish are super fast and once hooked belt off on screaming runs.
Fished for with a light spinning or baitcasting set up will get the best from these pocket rockets 20 to 30lb braid and a good stiff fluorocarbon leader teamed up with a 8 to 12 cm top water lure and your ready to go.
The mouth of the Bicuda is a little like the mouth of a sailfish marlin or gar without the beak. It’s all bone, no rubbery bits at all so to make the hook stick requires a combination of firm strike and good luck.
A Bicuda may slam into a lure three or four times on the same cast before a connection is made, once hooked up they will likely throw the hook quickly.
Expect to land one in five.
Using barb less trebles will help the hook up rate but with the fishes mouth being bony any slack line will just let the hook drop out.
If you are confident enough to fish with barb less hooks I would fully recommend you do so as not only is it kinder on the fish, it makes unhooking toothy species much safer.
I hedge my bets and crush the barbs so there is a little bump where the barb should be… might be psychological but I’m sure it helps.
The Bicuda is a fly fisherman’s dream. Stripping a large streamer through fast water is a great way to try for these fish, especially if you fancy a change from throwing plugs and spoons.
They grow to an average of about ten pounds in weight and a metre in length. Anything over a metre is an achievement not to mention an handful.

Catfish
The Amazon is, without doubt, catfish central.
It hosts more species of catfish itself than the test of the world put together.
I am only going to include a few of the most common and desirable ones here.
The retail catfish is perhaps the most common amazon cat. A big fish up to 100lb plus, takes of like a steam train and is just as hard to stop. A striking fish and a worthy adversary, it will test your tackle to the very limits. If your line sizzles off the reel on the take nine times out of ten it will be Mr red tail.
Piraiba catfish, pronounced (purr a hee ba) is the giant of the Amazon cats.. So this is saying something. It grows to possibly 300lbs and will leave you feeling like you have just run a marathon. They possess tremendous stamina and brute strength, you will gain line on them time and time again only to lose it and have to start again. One big one of these is enough per trip thank you very much….
Usually the absolute top of the Amazon cat fishers bucket list, I can personally confirm they do not disappoint.
I was going to say never remove these fish from the water but I won’t because its unlikely you will be able to lift one.

Jau catfish, very similar to the American flat head catfish, is a monster of a fish that fights down and dirty.
They love to live in rocks, between rocks, in underwater caves, under submerged logs, in fact anywhere you would not want them to be. The first thing they do when hooked is bolt for cover.
As soon as is hooked it will run you through every rock and submerged tree in the river before magically transferring the hook from its mouth on to the nearest snag. Again a dogged fighter that will require you to use at least 80lb braid as main line.. At least 100lb mono leader and 150lb wire trace.
The jundia (pronounced Jan gee harr) catfish is a smaller species, that is up to about 25lbs but no less game. Tremendously hard fighting for their size and tremendously tasty to eat.. The veritable chicken of the river.
Jundia often give very slight and timid bites, many times I have expected small fish nibbling at my bait only to have the rod wrenched from my hands. They maybe be only a medium catfish species but they don’t play fair and will have you in a snag if you are not sharp enough to get them off the bottom quickly.
Barred sorubim catfish, this is more of a game fish than a traditional type catfish, comes in stunning tiger stripes of black and silver, its as happy to take a lure as it is bait and will leap out of the water several times. They can grow to 50lbs or so and love sandy bottom places like beaches and spits and can often be caught close in on an evening.
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Fished for in the same way as other catfish in general , but try trolling a deep diving plug round beaches and junctions where two or three rivers meet.
Also a very nice food fish with meaty white flesh a bit like monkfish.
Flat whiskered catfish, again a smaller catfish species up to about 25 lbs quite common in the Amazon basin. An odd fish with long feather shaped barbels.
Once found, there always seems to be a few about, I don’t think they are a shoal fish as such but I may be wrong. They do appear to like the company of others of their type.

Known in the local idiom as Barba Chata.. Latin pinarimpus.
The electric eel
Often whilst fishing for catfish, the line will peel from the reel and the strike will connect to something that feels strange. The electric eel will win no first prizes as a sport fish and certainly no beauty contests. However as a curiosity it is worthy of note.
I have caught several electric eels all whilst fishing for catfish hard on the bottom,some quite long… up to four feet in length although they apparently grow larger.
They can be a bit of a nightmare at times because each capture requires a re rig due to having to cut the line above the wire trace.
On my last trip I decided to try and unhook one in the normal fashion. I brought the eel to the side of the boat, gripped the hook with long nose pliers, the fish reversed and the pliers slipped off the hook.
Did this again and the same thing happened. OK I thought to myself no shocks.. Either this must all be rubbish about them shocking people.. Or I am rock hard so I grabbed the hook by the bend with the pliers and gave an almighty tug…………… six hundred volts up my arm…whack!!!!! Wow did I see stars.. My guide could hardly control himself with laughter. He thought it was hilarious.
There were jokes about my “glowing complexion” my”hair raising time”in the jungle and and the fact that “eel be ok” etc well into the night.
I reckon if you had plugged a USB up my bum I’d have been good for at least a few charges.
All in all not a fish I advise you target catching, but may crop up along the way… if you get one, let the guide unhook it unless you are daft like me.
Stingray
Another bycatch whist bottom fishing will be the freshwater Stingray.
Forget piranha as the public enemy number one the Stingray is the worst culprit for injuries.
They lie submerged in the sand during the day and should you be wading shallow water, bathing or portage- ing a boat it’s all too easy to stand on one. If you do their short stubby tails will swing round and stick you in the lower calf.
You will not die from being stung by a Stingray… only feel like you want to.
The venom creates a burning sensation that will last a minimum of 24 to 48 hours and remember you are out in the jungle so if you have no pain relief, you will be relegated to two days of pain and discomfort in a hammock in 90 degree heat.
Apparently it’s agony, and worse, will prevent you from fishing for a few days. A trip you have saved and prepared all year could be ruined through treading on Mr Stingray.
You will catch some with rod and line and all will have invariably swallowed the hook. DO NOT clip off short, better still let the guide deal with it.
They can be handled but care must be taken that the spines in their tail are wrapped in a towel or cloth.
In common with all amazon fish stingrays are in no way aggressive but if mishandled or stood on will defend themselves.
On the up side I don’t think I have ever seen more beautiful patterns than in an amazon Stingray.. Some are reminiscent of 1970s wallpaper.. Far out!!
As a side note and before we move on to Pescada, you may say that stingrays are a saltwater fish and ask what the sod are they doing in the Amazon which as far as you know is fresh water.
Well you would be right on both counts. Its interesting to know that millennia ago the Amazon flowed from East to West not West to East as it does now. Tectonic plates moved and mountains were formed to the west cutting off the Amazon from the Pacific. Many estuarine fish were trapped and adapted over millennia to live in the now east flowing Amazon.
This may have been the source of the famous amazon River dolphins and certainly stingrays and Pescada.
Pescada
The Pescada is a species of freshwater drum belonging to the same family as saltwater drums and redfish, Australian mulloway and African lady fish.
Also known as croakers they are named for the sound they make inside their throats.
Often this can be heard from the river bank whilst the fish are many metres away underwater, sort of like a muffled bullfrog sound.
Trapped by geological changes and adapted through evolution the Pescada thrives in the Amazon and can be caught in large slow river bends and quiet stretches of water.
They often lie below a school of payara and so when letting bait sink through the water columns you may expect a payara only to pick up the Pescada lying deeper.
Reaching about 15 lb and bright silver they are a beautiful fish with mother of pearl sheen’s rather like an opal, they also make good eating with firm white flesh similar to cod or sea bass.
Smaller species
There are literally thousands of smaller species in the Amazon and these I believe are very under exposed from a fishing point of view.
Hundreds of these brightly coloured fish are the aquarists best friends and are well studied in aquariums around the world. However not much has been written about fishi g for them as they are overlooked by anglers looking for more glamorous fish.
That leaves hundreds of medium sized fish that are worth a pop at on light tackle.
Small piranha species, jacunda, pacu, Oscars, leporinus, chalcedeous, various pike characins, cachorro, and a few carp like species to name a few, and a hundred more I can’t name will attack small worms and grubs either freelined or under a small float

Goodness knows what an English coarse fishing approach with feeder and waggler rod, a ton of groundbait and ten tins of sweetcorn would reveal. Aching arms for a start I would think.
If you decide to fish these baits on the bottom you will be thrilled to catch species after species of miniature catfish.
I always make a point within my trip of devoting a few hours to these smaller species as I find them interesting and above all super fun.
Small though these fishes be, they all have teeth.. To prove my point simply strip off, jump in the shallows and sit quiet. Within five minutes you will be attacked by micro fish giving you hundreds of dollars worth of derma abrasion.
A bit like one of those posh fish spas, only free.
They will freely swim in and out of your fingers.
Once I thought I had something nipping me inside my shorts.. And upon inspection found out I had a crab in my knickers… no jokes please… just another of the Pacific oceans legacies alive and well and nibbling my bottom.

Lifting stones will reveal various types of plecostomus and anostamus. Just be careful of stingrays.
I actually caught one of these on a lure once.. Must have been a territorial aggressive thing as they are exclusively algae feeders.
A tiny spinner something like a mepps 00 or1 cast under bushes or a small fly jig bounced off the bottom on 4lb line, can provide a couple of hours of brilliant entertainment, and if you so wish a few can be kept as excellent bait for payara, wolf fish and catfish.

The Electric Eel
Lurking at the bottom of this inexhaustible list is the infamous electric eel. 
This fish is common in Amazonian waters. 
You will often encounter this species if specifically targeting wolf fish and to a lesser extent catfish.. Sayng that, i did catch one on a lure once! 




 They give off bubbles similar to a wolf fish, so placing a bait over bubbles does not always give a wolf fish. 
They are not a particularly sporting fish, and are as ugly as hell.. The first one i caught looked like had a mouthfull of fresh liver.. However that was only the inside of its mouth.. Only second prize in a beauty contest im afraid.. Peacock bass wins... I'm third....wife fourth.... 
I usually cut the line above the trace to aviod handling..with familiarity comes contempt.. And the last one i caught i tried unhooking normally. After all I've  never had a shock off one.. So must be a myth. 
Slid the pliers down to the hook and gripped, usually the fish then turns and hook comes out. The fish spun but its mouth was so rubbery the hook wouldnt budge.. I lifted the hook and fish and shook.. Usually does the trick.. 600 volts up my arm.. Boy that woke me up.. My guide literally pissed himself laughing having watched me do all this.. Presumably for his owm entertainment.. Then informed me, straight faced, that electric eels can shock you...